Summer Jokes Thread

Re: Summer Jokes Thread

Lurker 15 Jun 2019 10:39 am said..

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet .....
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

Lurker 15 Jun 2019 10:42 am said..

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

chumba 15 Jun 2019 16:12 pm said..

I went to the doctor to ask for some advice about my digestive system.

The doctor asked me ‘what time do go for a sh1t in the morning?’.

‘Eight o’clock every day’ I replied.

‘Well, I don’t see the problem’ the Doctor said, to which I replied ‘I never get up before nine’.......
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

Geoffy 15 Jun 2019 20:17 pm said..

Most people know that Charles Dickens' novels were published widely in serial format via various national publications.
It seems, however, that "A Tale of Two Cities" was released only through two regional newspapers.
Apparently - it was the Bicester Times and it was the Worcester Times.

My wife thinks I should get out more often - I only think of "Hard Times" and "Bleak House".
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

Lurker 18 Jun 2019 11:08 am said..

I was driving to work this morning when I saw a parked RAC van. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself, that guy is heading for a breakdown
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Lurker 18 Jun 2019 11:09 am said..

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

Lurker 18 Jun 2019 11:23 am said..

The wife was counting all the 5ps and 10ps out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

juanhunglo 18 Jun 2019 11:26 am said..

What time does the Chinaman go to the dentist?
Tooth hurtee
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

glawfindel 18 Jun 2019 11:42 am said..

My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better, but he's not out of the woods yet
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Re: Summer Jokes Thread

juanhunglo 18 Jun 2019 11:58 am said..

What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight boot?

One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache.
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